Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
