I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
