You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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