I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
