Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Church boner. Awkwardddd
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
