I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
