Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
40s are totally the cure
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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