Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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