Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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