I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
