my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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