can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
