my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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