I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
