You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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