What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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