sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
