Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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