And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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