I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
