He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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