I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he was CRYING into my vagina
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
This is my gift to your gina
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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