So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
