I think I can smell my own vagina right now
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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