my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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