So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
