I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
