I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Do you remember whose house we're in?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
