would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
