he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
