So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
