FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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