new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think your dad took our porno
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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