So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
