I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
