This girl is more easily done than said...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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