i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
