I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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