Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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