I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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