yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
pray to the hookup gods
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
