I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
