Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
