Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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