Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
