she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
