How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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