we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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