She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
