I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
