This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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