Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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