Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
